Dear my Super Sam,
I wasn’t going to write you a letter today being it’s one of those days that is rough for your Mom. Not a lot of people get it but there are a some people out there that do. It’s a double edged sword really.
I also did some writing about it for myself to work through things and I don’t know if you will ever read these *letters* let alone read the other posts I made.
However after watching a video another preemie momma shared about a boy in and his family in England, you dear mom here is a hot mess of tears. I decided that I would write you a letter. It wasn’t going to be a rehash of what I wrote for myself, as that was for me and this letter is to you and for you.
Not that I wasn’t already thankful for the 5 1/2 weeks of cooking we got for you with my bedrest but after watching that video it really put things into perspective again
I was sitting with you earlier while you were eating and thinking about how a year ago we were filled with so much fear and worry and guilt. The fear and worry is still there but in a different way. I mean parents worry about their kids. O.k. so maybe fear isn’t there so much but the worry, yes the worry is there. It will always be there. It’s part of who I am, so get used to it my boy. I am your mom and I am worry wart.
The guilt is there but I am working through that.
Anyways Sam, back to the point of this letter.
You have come so far since last year.
You are such an amazing baby who has fought through a lot, maybe not quite as much as other babies like the baby in the video but you have your story and you have come a long way in it since those worrisome days.
I just wanted to say you just amaze me day in and day out.
Your smile makes my day.
Watching you and your brother together just melts my heart and when I am having a bad day I just think of you two together.
Your little chunky fat rolls and chunky cheeks are the best.
Your giggle just makes me want to cry those good tears.
I just can’t believe what a difference a year makes baby.
To think your first birthday is just around the corner is mind boggling.
Anyways Sam, I love you dearly
and never forget how much of an amazing boy you are.